EMBRACE THE MOMENT … AND EACH OTHER

The news of Maya Angelou’s death was on my mind this morning when I awoke, along with her quote, “This is a wonderful day, I have never seen this one before.” As I lay in bed beside my baby, I wondered what this day would bring. What would my kids do on this particular day, at their exact age that they will never be again, and how would I, as a Mom, their Mom, enhance their world?

I was quickly put to the challenge when my four year old was crying inconsolably for well over an hour at the Dr’s office today. Reminded of what it felt like as a child to just want your Mom to hold you and tell you that everything’s going to be okay, I started thinking of my own Mom. I figured she was probably chuckling to herself in heaven, as she watched the scene unfold. There I was, holding my daughter, standing on one leg while I used the other to rock Drew in his car seat since he was overdue for a nap, all the while trying to take my daughter’s mind off her ear pain by talking about the mural on the wall.

My Mom was the best when we were sick. She’d set up camp for us on the couch, with the clown quilt my Aunt had cross-stitched. She’d bring us Ginger Ale and Saltine Crackers with butter and sit beside us stroking our foreheads while we watched Tom & Jerry on TV.

That thought crossed my mind again tonight when I found myself getting annoyed as my daughter started crying over not wanting to brush her teeth. That feeling of just wanting to be loved and held when you don’t feel good gave me the patience I needed to stay calm and let her sleep in my bed tonight until she fell asleep.

The point didn’t really sink in though until my son woke up in the middle of the night, as he always does, several times a night, and I found myself falling in love with him even more as I rocked him back to sleep, watching his precious features cuddled up in my arms. I realized that as their Mom, I have the opportunity to give them the love that my Mom gave me.

I realized there was a great amount of time when life was just all about me. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted, without any interruptions. On several occasions, I find myself annoyed that I’m no longer able to do what I want, when I want. But tonight, as I rocked my sweet child to sleep, I understood it wasn’t about me. Maybe it was the way my son looked older to me tonight but as I caressed his head, I realized that how I treat him will completely affect the man he will become and right now I have the ability to give him all the love I can, to comfort him when he cries and make him feel safe and take time everyday to make him laugh.

There are many days when my daughter’s whining will start to drive me crazy. I’ll find myself short tempered and instead of apologizing to her for overreacting to her behavior, I tell her I love her so she knows that even though I’m angry with the way she’s acting, she is truly loved. I find myself doing that quite a bit lately and all of a sudden it occurred to me that if I’m yelling at her one minute and telling her I love her the next, she’ll begin to think that someone that truly loves you, yells at you. And if she draws that conclusion, what will she look for in a husband one day?

I am the adult. I should be able to behave better to a whining preschooler. Last week, it was pointed out to me that I always speak kindly to my friends, why wouldn’t I always speak as kindly to my own children, who I love more than anyone? While I wanted to be completely defensive about the criticism, it was good to hear. It’s true. Why would I be kinder to strangers than my own family that I love with all my heart?

The truth is that when I am fully engaged in my children’s lives, they are incredible kids. My oldest only becomes sassy when she feels neglected. If I was to dedicate just twenty minutes a day to being fully attentive to her and really get into character and play with her, the attitudes she throws at me would probably disappear. So, to hold myself accountable, I’m setting an alarm on my phone. Every day at 2pm, my alarm will go off and I’ll know that for the next twenty minutes, I am going to sit on the floor so I’m at her level, I can see into her eyes and I will play, whatever game she chooses. I’ll let you know how it goes. But since each day is a new opportunity to see my children at a place they’ll never be again, I’m going to embrace my time with them, while they’re still longing to be with me. :)

What’s the best thing your Mom did with you as a child?

#mom #embracingthemoment #engaginginlife #parentingwithlove