Use Words Wisely

I always love what comes out of the mouths of strangers when you're pregnant. Just the other day in Target, I heard the infamous, "You look like you're about to pop!" Really lady? What about that expression sounds the least bit kind? Who would want to hear those words? Being that this is my third pregnancy and I vividly remember hearing the same thing with my other two children, I couldn't help but sarcastically blurt out, "just what every pregnant woman wants to hear!" The funny thing is that I haven't ventured out much recently but a week later, I found myself in Costco and another lovely stranger felt the need to ask, " Are you having twins?" Seriously people? 'm sure they're just trying to create friendly conversation but could we please introduce a new phrase that doesn't involve size?;)

One of my favorite reminders in scripture is to "Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." - Ephesians 4:29 One of the great things that comes out of hearing the way people speak to you is that it makes you evaluate how you speak to others. My husband once told me that I was nicer to my friends than I was my own kids. Ouch! That hurt to hear. But, I would never use a harsh tone with any of my friends the way I so casually do with my own children, who I love the most.

Lately, it seems my two year old doesn't listen to anything I say. As I've been evaluating my own words, I'm sure he hears alot of "Stop!, Don't!" along with repeatedly being told what to do. I certainly wouldn't want to hear that all the time and in defiance, I too would begin to ignore those commands. So, I'm working to find motivating ways to encourage the behavior I want versus that which I don't.

He loves to be independent so today when he was playing with something that needed to be put away, I asked him if he could show me how to put it back or if he needed help. He was quick to do it all by himself, without being asked twice. Simply changing my words to encourage him to do something on his own, not only had great results but allowed me to avoid raising my voice or telling him to put it back multiple times. It was instant proof that he does hear me and enjoys being encouraged to do the right thing. I'm sure it will take some practice to creatively come up with inspiring words to incite good behavior but I know it will be worth it in the end. My go to for now is, "CAN YOU SHOW ME HOW... you give that back, you eat your dinner, you put that away? Seems to elicit a positive response everytime so I'm sticking with it for now! If you have any favorite expressions you use to help your kids listen the first time around, please share them:)