PRAY

As I watched my one year old marvel over the vacuum cleaner, I couldn't help but laugh. Ah, if only I would be so excited about a cleaning device. Dyson was kind enough to put a ball on their brand of vacuum and since my son is obsessed with throwing a ball, he couldn’t resist himself. In fact, he seems to look at everything with new eyes and marvel at its beauty. Observing him made me reconsider my perspective on life. Every January, it's the same thing where we live, grey day after grey day. It zaps me of my energy, makes me irritable and I find myself being a poor version of the Mom I feel called to be. Yesterday, for the first time ever, the kids and I were respectably dressed and ready to leave for church early! Even with a last minute hiccup of a diaper change or needing to find where I placed my keys, we would still make it on time. That is until I realized I had left my keys in the car from the night before and my sweetheart had locked the car with his set of keys, which were now with him at work. I chuckled to myself noting how it had almost been too perfect;) So, we enjoyed our day and I opted to venture out for the 6pm service. I remembered why I never attend church at 6pm in the winter. It's dark, cold, they don't serve coffee at the evening service and I'm exhausted. I was beginning to think church was lost on me as I struggled to pay attention to the sermon. All I could seem to focus on were my feelings of inferiority as a Mom. As if shaken from a trance, I suddenly felt drawn back into the moment, listening to the words of Matthew 26 and the reminder of how often Jesus prayed. He didn’t just mutter a quick prayer to God, he spent hours in solitude with His Father in heaven. That point was still on my mind when I returned home and tucked the kids into bed. I kneeled beside them, singing and caressing their sweet skin until they drifted off to sleep. I was focused on the part in Matthew where Jesus prayed for hours, realizing what little time I actually spend in prayer. So, there on the floor, I prayed for God to make me a better mom.

Suddenly, my perspective on the hours I spend putting my kids to sleep changed. As I looked at their sweet faces, I thought about how thankful I am to have two healthy children, who love me so much that they want me by their side. Rather than being frustrated that I can’t just put them down to sleep without one crying when I walk away, I decided that the time I spend in their room while they fall asleep can be my time spent in prayer. It seemed like an invitation, similar to the ones my daughter brings home from school… You’re Invited! Meditation Party, Every Evening at 8pm, Kids’ Room, RSVP 2HE-AVEN

I was astonished by how quickly my prayer was answered. Our mornings preparing my four year old for school usually involve tears. She is not a morning person and regardless of how early I put her to bed, she dreads having to use the bathroom, put on her uniform and eat breakfast. She’d much prefer to curl up on the beanbag and watch cartoons while snuggling with Mommy or Daddy. However, this morning, we left the house without a single tear. After we said our prayers for our immediately family on the way to school, she continued to pray. It was so sweet listening to her prayers and another illustration of being persistent in prayer.

I would need that reminder this month, when my dear friend received devastating news that her baby wouldn't survive. I was laying in her hospital bed with her when they explained the details and the pain on my friend's face broke my heart. The room was heavy with despair. If only there was something I could do to help. Without a conscious thought, I found myself paraphrasing Philippians 4:6 and suggesting we should pray. I didn’t grow up praying aloud but God gave me the words, true to His promise in Matt 10:19-20. “Don’t worry about how to respond or what to say. God will give you the right words at the right time. For it is not you who will be speaking – it will be the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.” I can’t recall what I said but immediately, the heavy weight of the room lifted and a peace filled the air. The situation hadn’t changed but even the devastation of my friend’s face was no longer there. It was as if He was lifting us up and carrying us through the deep waters. Even tonight, as I pulled out my Bible to look up the exact wording of Phillipians 4:6, I am in awe of the following verse… “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. THEN you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.” That night, I didn’t understand how in the midst of such tragedy, we could find laughter and peace but it was there and it was abundant.

What are you going to pray for today?

#phillipians46 #matt101920 #philippians46